Geeks in Green
by Little Octopus
Summary: Of course, on St. Patrick's Day, Arthur would get drunk. But what happens when he's a confused drunk? Sassy!Arthur USUK


**Happy St. Patrick's Day!**

Alfred woke with a jolt of pain on his hip. He reached down and rubbed the spot before glaring at Arthur.

"What was that for?"

The blond Englishman grinned. "You're not wearing green."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Alfred rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he rolled on to his back.

"Duh. It's St. Patrick's Day." Arthur said, sitting up on his elbows and examining his chipping nail polish. "You're not wearing green either." Alfred said, reaching his arm over to pinch Arthur's ass.

"Ow!" Arthur whipped his head to face Alfred. "You can't pinch me!" He said, then pushed his hair behind an ear. A small shamrock earring glinted in the late morning sun. "Now I get to punish you!"

Alfred sat up. "And how are you going to do that?" Arthur pounced on Alfred's chest, his lips locking on the soft spot beneath Alfred's jaw. He nipped and sucked on the spot, making Alfred moan quietly in the back of his throat. Arthur pulled away before jumping back in and biting down hard on the same spot.

"Ouch! Aaartiiiee..." Alfred whined, pushing Arthur off his neck and rubbing the surely bruised spot.

"You can't pinch someone wearing green on St. Patty's day, Al." Arthur smirked, rolling off the bed and stretching. He was only clad in one of Alfred's shirts. As he reached his arms over his head, Alfred saw a delicious flash of Arthur's milky thigh.

"Well I won't now." Alfred grumbled, standing and going to the door.

"Where are you going?" Arthur asked, moving to the closet.

"The shower. Care to join me?" Alfred grinned over his shoulder. Arthur looked up from the hangers and smiled.

"Maybe."

"Aww... come on Artie. It'll be fun." Alfred teased, stepping outside of the room. Rolling his eyes, Arthur returned to his clothes. There came a soft thump behind him. Turning, Arthur saw Alfred's sweat pants in a pile on the floor. Arthur laughed.

"I'm coming, dolt!" After a much needed bath, due to the previous night's activities, Arthur began getting ready while Alfred lounged on the bed in his under shorts.

"Why are you dressing up?" Alfred suddenly asked. Arthur looked over his shoulder, his acid green eyes narrowing.

"It's my brother's birthday!"

"What one?"

"Liam!" Arthur spun to face Alfred and placed his fits on his hips. "Why are you so forgetful about birthdays?" Alfred rolled on to his stomach and placed his chin in his hands.

"I dunno. Some birthdays are hard to remember."

"Like mine?" Arthur said icily, turning back to his closet.

"That was one time!" Alfred shouted, pushing himself off the bed.

"It doesn't matter!" Arthur snapped. "You shouldn't forget my birthday so easily!" Suddenly, two arm arms were around Arthur's bare waist, fingers brushing the mint colored rabbit on his pale hip. Lips were pressed to his ear.

"I'm sorry, Artie." Arthur closed his eyes. "Don't be mad." Arthur sighed.

"Fine, you git. Now get dressed. And look presentable. Liam still doesn't like you."

"I don't know why." Alfred said, leaning over Arthur's shoulder and grabbing a gray shirt with a plaid green and black button down tee. "I'm a freaking hero."

"You wait tables and you forgot my birthday. _And_ his." Alfred let out a long groan.

"Let it go."

"Oh fuck. Al-!"

"Let it gooo~ Let it gooo~ I am one with the wind and skyyy!" Alfred shouted, spinning Arthur by the hands.

"Stop! We saw that last month!"

"Here I stand! In the light of daaaay!" Alfred grinned.

"Alfred! I will leave you home!"

"Let the storm rage oooon!" Alfred tossed Arthur onto their bed. "The cold never bothered me anyway." He smirked, placed his hands on his hips and walked out the room. Slowly, Arthur laughed.

"You are an idiot!" He shouted, sitting up.

"Don't diss my singin', Artie." Alfred chided, walking back in the room and putting his shirt on.

"Singing? I thought you were impersonating a walrus giving birth." Arthur teased, standing and going back to examine his clothing.

"That was just cruel."

"So was the pain you made my ears go through with your screeching."

"Don't make me do it again."

"I pray to the gods you don't." Arthur smiled over his shoulder and blew Alfred a kiss. "Hurry up, we need to help cook."

"_I_ am dressed." Alfred said, shoving his feet into his shoes. "_You_ are the one taking forever."

"Is it warm outside? If it is I don't want to wear a turtleneck. But if it's going to be chilly..." Arthur sighed.

"We'll be inside all night with a bunch of drinking people. Wear a tee."

"Alright." Arthur pushed some of his clothes aside and began examining his tee shirts. "Let's see..." He began chewing his lip. Alfred spread out on his stomach, his arms dangling over the side of the bed.

"The one with the green bunny like your tattoo."

"That's mint. I'm supposed to wear green."

"There's a difference?"

Arthur sighed. "Yes, Al. There is a difference. Maybe I should call Feliks to help me..." Alfred groaned and flopped his head down on the covers. "Oh! How about this?" Arthur reached into his closet and pulled out a black shirt that had a green collar. The hem of the short sleeves had a matching green color. He slipped the shirt on then grabbed his leather jacket.

"Are you done yet?"

"No. Now I have to change my jeans."

"Why?"

"I can't wear black jeans with a black shirt." Arthur rolled his eyes and went to their shared dresser.

"Why? You'll look like a ninja."

"Exactly." Arthur ruffled through his drawer then tugged out a white pair of skinny jeans.

"Good thing you aren't on your period." Alfred snorted. Arthur sighed and changed his pants.

"You are so childish."

"I know you love me." Alfred grinned and watched his lover change.

"Okay." Arthur went back to his closet and brought a pair of knee high black boots to their bed. Sitting down on the edge, he wrapped the excess denim around his ankle and slipped on a boot. After pulling up the zipper, he latched the buckle at the top.

"So... you can't wear black jeans with a black shirt... but you can wear black boots with a black shirt?"

"Yes." Arthur put on his other boot and stood.

"What's the difference?" Arthur sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, fingering his pink streak of hair that rested behind his ear.

"The black is separated by the white."

"Whatever." Another sigh.

"Come on." He said, shoving his wallet into his back pocket and picking up his phone. "I'll call Dylan and see what we need to pick up."

"I thought it was Liam's birthday."

"It is. And St Patrick's Day. He's already piss ass drunk." Arthur dialed his youngest brother's number and walked out the door, not bothering to check if Alfred was following.

* * *

After an agonizing trip to the store, Arthur couldn't decide what type of drinks to buy, then he had to debate on getting treats when there was cake, Alfred and Arthur finally arrived at Arthur's brothers' house. "Liam!" Arthur cheered when his red-haired brother opened the door. "Happy birthday!" He hugged his brother.

"Hey!" Liam shouted, clapping his younger brother on the back. "Glad you made it kiddo!"

"You remember Al, right?" Arthur asked, stepping back from his brother's embrace. Alfred raised a hand, his other hand holding a bag of two liters and a tray of cookies.

"Yeah." Liam glared, taking a drink from his red solo cup. "I remember him." Then he turned to his brother and grinned again, his freckles glowing from the afternoon sun.

"Come in, kiddo. Dylan's cooking." He led the couple inside.

"Arthur!" Dylan called from the kitchen. "Will you start setting stuff out? People will be arriving soon."

"Sure Dylan. Alfred, follow me. Liam? Pour me a drink please?" Arthur said, walking to the kitchen and pulling paper plates from grocery bags. While Arthur set about making the drinks and various snacks look so, Alfred could feel Liam's glare at his back the whole time. Alfred knew why Liam hated him. He was the one who bought Arthur his earrings, his tattoo and the one who payed for Arthur to dress like who he was, and as Liam put it, a raging gay. Though Liam was okay with his little brother's sexuality, he didn't approve of how he went about it, and blamed Alfred for how his brother acted. Once people started to arrive, Alfred was glad that Liam became too busy greeting guests and eating to mean mug him. With a mix of whiskey and Coke in his hand, Alfred twisted and turned his way to Arthur, who was working on a buzz. He had lost his jacket somewhere, but Alfred was sure Dylan would find it and bring it over in the next few days.

"Arthur!" Alfred shouted over the crowd. The Englishman turned to his lover and grinned.

"Just in time, Al! Liam and his friends are about to start singing!"

"Uh, what?" Alfred had never been to one of Arthur's brother's birthdays considering this was their first year together, so he was curios to see what the hell Arthur was talking about.

"Singing! Liam! It's awesome!" Arthur shouted, turning to face his brother and a group of red haired men, all dressed in kilts. One man had a beard. While the most were wearing the traditional outfit, Liam still had on his black band tee shirt. Alfred found a place behind Arthur and set his hands on his waist as Liam's friends brought out... bagpipes.

"Oh, god." Alfred mumbled, retreating to the kitchen to sneak some corned beef and cabbage. Deciding to pig out instead of snack, Alfred chowed down while Dylan watched him from across the kitchen. Strange thing about the Kirkland brothers, Liam hated Alfred. Killian, the second oldest living in Ireland tolerated Alfred. Arthur loved him, and Dylan had the biggest crush on the American it was painfully adorable. Alfred didn't mind as long as the brothers let him date Arthur.

"Hey, Dylan, got anymore Coke?" Alfred asked from the table.

"Uhm..." The strawberry blond went to the fridge and pulled out a can. "The two liters are gone, but I have this."

"Perfect." Alfred reached out for the can. Dylan handed it to him, their skin brushing. "I'm going to go check on Liam and Arthur." Dylan said, his cheeks flushed, then rushed out of the kitchen. Alfred finished his meal before returning back to the crowded living room and bagpipe music. He scanned the room, looking for a familiar mop of blond hair. Alfred didn't even try calling out, it would just be lost in the noise. Glancing around again, Alfred spotted Arthur's hair, there was no question about the messy blond locks, in the corner of the living room. Moving quickly through the crowd, Alfred got to Arthur... just in time to see him pressed against another guy. Their faces hidden behind hair and hands traveling low.

"Arthur?" Alfred shouted, wanting to make sure. Arthur wouldn't cheat on him. Arthur cared about values and all that stuff. Arthur _loved_ Alfred. Right? The blond - _'It's not Arthur.'_ - turned and looked up at Alfred - _'It's_ not _Arthur'_ - with startling green eyes - 'It is not Arthur!' - and said,

"Alfred?" It is Arthur. Alfred looked up at the other man, he was grinning. Lowering his gaze to Arthur, Alfred narrowed his eyes dangerously.

"Go outside, Arthur."

"But I thought-" Arthur looked up at the man. "You said-"

"Arthur, outside." Alfred snapped, yanking the Englishman back.

"Don't hurt 'im." The man said, pushing away from the wall. "He's fun to play with." Anger boiled in Alfred. He wanted to rip the man's fucking head off. But Liam might not approve and forbid Alfred from seeing Arthur.

"Shut up." Alfred growled, holding onto Arthur's arm. The blond began to whimper.

"Al, stop. That hurts." He said, trying to pull his hand away while pressing his body to Alfred's back. "Let's just go."

"Yeah. Al." The man smirked. And Alfred lost it. He released Arthur and launched at the man, his fist curling then folding with the stranger's face. They both fell and Alfred pressed his knees into the man's armpits as he brought down fist after fist on the mans face. Blood covered his knuckles. However, Alfred didn't expect to be slammed against the wall. Lost for breath, he looked up through his hair. When had a circle formed? Why is Arthur crying? Before another thought entered his mine, Alfred's nose exploded in pain. He bit his tongue, holding in his cry of pain. Another blow came to his jaw, forcing his head against the wall. He felt pain race through his sides. He must be getting kicked. Damn that hurt. When he was punched again, his head lurched to the side and Alfred could see Arthur still crying, his head twirling this way and that. Alfred faintly heard his shrill voice calling for help. Shrill. He must be worried. Panicking. Alfred felt new anger in his belly. This stranger had made Arthur cry and panic. That was not okay for _anyone_ to do. Finding more energy after his beat down, Alfred pushed against the wall, taking the man by surprise, and threw the stranger on the ground. Alfred pressed a foot between the man's shoulder blades and put all his weight on that one leg.

"You leave Artie alone you little piece of shit!" He shouted before stepping off the man and kicking him in the back. Then the side. Then the face. And when the man curled in on himself, Alfred used the heel of his shoe to attack the man's spine. Suddenly, arms were on Alfred, pulling him off the man. "I'll kill him!" Alfred bellowed.

"Art! Stop him!" Arthur stepped forward and set his hands on Alfred's chest.

"It's alright! Calm down." Slowly, Alfred looked down at the blond and relaxed his arms. "We're going home." Arthur nodded. "Let's go." Nodding again, Arthur left Alfred's side and ran upstairs. He watched Arthur go, then watched a group of people take the man from his pile of limbs on the floor. After he was gone, Alfred stepped away from whoever was holding him and looked back. Liam and the bearded guy from earlier stared at Alfred. Alfred bowed his head.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled. Liam clapped his back and laughed loudly.

"Glad to see you like my brother that much!" Alfred raised his head.

"What?"

"Hey, what's St. Patty's day without a fight?" Liam laughed again and shoved Alfred's shoulder. After a moment of shock, Alfred smiled.

"Yeah. Happy birthday."

"Ye got a nice shiner for me." The red head poked Alfred's eye, making him wince. "And maybe a broken nose." He flicked Alfred's nose.

"Liam! Leave him alone!" Arthur snapped, entering the small ring again, his leather jacket on. "Come on, Al. I'll take care of you at home." He turned to his brother.

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine, it was pretty entertaining." Liam grinned. "Careful going home." Dylan appeared behind his brother and smiled.

"Feel better, Al. If you run out of any stuff just call." He waved then walked away. Arthur grabbed Alfred's arm and pulled him through the crowd. It was easy since they all parted for the beaten American. Once outside, with the door closed, Arthur rounded on Alfred and began hitting the taller's chest.

"Why did you have to and get yourself beat up?!" He snapped.

"Why did you have your tongue down that man's throat?" Alfred said, monotone. Arthur looked up at his lover, his green eyes sad.

"I was drunk and he was blond and blue eyes and... I'm sorry." He lowered his head to Alfred's chest. "I didn't mean it. I didn't know." Alfred was silent, he wanted Arthur to hurt. He wanted the smaller man to feel the sudden heartbreak he felt before he comforted his lover. He felt Arthur begin to tremble and knew it was time. Raising his arms, Alfred wrapped his arms around Arthur and began rocking the Englishman.

"It's okay, Artie. Let's just go home." Arthur nodded against Alfred's warm strong chest.

* * *

"Ow! Stop pushing it!" Alfred pulled away from Arthur's fingers.

"Well, I know it's broken now." Arthur said, throwing away the bloody tissues. "We should go have a doctor look at it." He slipped his shirt off and tossed it on top of Alfred's shirt in the dirty clothes pile.

"Later." Alfred leaned forward and kissed Arthur on the cheek. "Are you done babying me?"

"If you're done being a baby." Arthur said, standing and putting away the first aid kit.

"I'm not a baby." Alfred grumbled, standing from the toilet and going to their room.

"Baby!" Arthur called before hopping off the sink and following Alfred. But Alfred wasn't in the room. "Alfred?" He looked around. Where did that dumb bloke go?

"Artie!" Alfred shouted, tackling Arthur into their bed, then howling in pain. "Ow ow ow!"

"Moron!" Arthur shouted, sitting up. "Let me see." Alfred laid on his back as Arthur leaned over him. "It's gonna hurt until we go to the doctors." Alfred pouted.

"Kiss it better?" Arthur rolled his eyes and kissed the tip of Arthur's nose.

"Git." He whispered, moving from the American's nose to his cheeks. To his jaw. To his lips. Arthur smiled and rolled onto Alfred's chest, deepening the kiss and slipping his tongue in. Alfred sighed beneath him and ran his calloused fingers up Arthur's pale back, tracing designs into the flawless skin. Arthur let out a surprised 'oomph' when Alfred flipped them over. Running his hands up Arthur's thighs, Alfred wrestled with the jean button. Finally winning the match, Alfred tugged down the ridiculously tight jeans, revealing Arthur's hardening member and boxers. Leaning down, Alfred latched his lips around Arthur's nipple. Arthur let out a soft moan and tangled his fingers in Alfred's hair. Letting his hand run down between them, Alfred began undoing his own jeans. Arthur breathed heavy against his ear. "Hurry." Alfred nodded and shed their remaining clothing quickly. He left Arthur's chest and began marking the Englishman's neck and shoulders while his hand fumbled with their nightstand drawer. Not finding what he was looking for, Alfred left Arthur's succulent body and grabbed the bottle he wanted. Arthur's eyes watched Alfred's movements. "Green lube?" He asked, raising an impressive brow.

"Happy St. Patrick's Day." Alfred said, spreading the green jelly on his fingers.

"Twit." Arthur murmured, spreading his legs.

"You love me." Alfred said, pressing a fingertip to Arthur's entrance and spreading the lube around the hole.

"Every day." Arthur whispered, arching his back. Alfred pressed his finger in, twisting it deeper. Once he was knuckle deep, he pushed in his second and swiftly scissored Arthur's entrance. Moaning, Arthur tossed his head against the pillow. "Hurry, love."

"Alright." Alfred put in a third finger and spread Arthur's hole as wide as he could. With his fingertips holding Arthur's entrance open, Alfred thrust in and removed his fingers before he hurt his lover. Arthur writhed beneath Alfred at the sudden intrusion of his hard cock.

"Alfred!" He moaned. Leaning over the englishman, Alfred began moving his hips harshly, making Arthur arch and bend. "Alfred!" He choked out, pressing against Alfred's chest and wrapping his arms around the American's neck.

"Harder, git!" Arthur snapped.

"Stop talking, Artie." Alfred growled and kissed Arthur on the ear. But he did comply and began pounding into Arthur. By Arthur's loud response, Alfred guessed he had hit Arthur's sweet little spot.

"Alfred, Alfred, Alfred!" Arthur chanted, digging his nails into his lovers back. Alfred slid his hand between their sweaty chests and began pumping Arthur's shaft in time with his frantic thrusts. Arthur bit down on the skin connecting Alfred's neck to his shoulder to keep from screaming. They lived in an apartment, after all.

"Ow! Artie." Alfred whined. Arthur darted his tongue over the new mark. Continuing his thrusts, Alfred struck Arthur's prostate over and over, soon making Arthur come over their already sticky chests. Pulling his hand away from Arthur's now limp member, Alfred placed his hands on either side of Arthur's head. Using his arms as leverage, Alfred brought himself fully into Arthur and out again, Arthur's tight heat swallowing Alfred's cock, pulling Alfred close to the edge. "Artie." He mumbled before releasing his seed into Arthur's body. Arthur shuddered before laying back down and panting, his eyelids drooping. Alfred pulled out of Arthur and lay beside his lover. "Good night, Artie." Arthur rolled his eyes.

"Night, Al."

* * *

**Author's note: Well. Yeah. So. Oneshot. I'll do each holiday. I'm American so American holidays. If you are from wherever, message me the holiday and a description and the date and I'll do your holiday!**


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